Cookies 'n Creaming

(Not that kind of creaming, you perv.)

If you were to peruse my recipe collections, you'd find that the instructions for many of them simply state "__________ method," especially the cookie recipes. You can save a lot of writing and thinking when you can reduce the instructions of a recipe to its mixing method. A mixing method is the particular way ingredients are combined in order to achieve a particular texture and taste, as well as ensure the baked good rises properly. For example, egg whites and sugar are the leavening agents in angel food cake, so its mixing method (conveniently called the angel food method) involves whipping the egg whites and sugar into an air-filled meringue that give the cake its structure.

There are several mixing methods: creaming, biscuit, foaming, combination, etc. You won't need to memorize them, except maybe the creaming and biscuit methods, as they're the most commonly-used methods for cookies, cakes, biscuits and quick breads. Today we'll be doing the creaming method, which is achingly simple. The "creaming" action is whipping air into the butter and sugar. The sugar stiffens the butter, allowing it to hold all the microscopic air bubbles. Chemical leaveners, like baking soda and baking powder, release more air as they're heated.

Along with the different types of mixing methods, there are different types of cookies, organized by how they're formed. Rolled cookies are cut out from sheets of dough that have been rolled flat; bar cookies are baked in a sheet, like brownies, and cut from the pan; drop cookies are spooned out and dropped on the baking sheet; and so on. Stenciled, molded, and ice-box cookies are pretty involved and often involve extra tools--I haven't done any of them since baking school. Everyone's pretty familiar with drop cookies, whether they know it or not, so that's what we'll be doing today.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Drop Cookies; Creaming Method

Ingredients

1 c (1/2 lb) butter

1 c brown sugar, packed

1 1/2 c granulated sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 Tbsp (1 oz) milk

2 1/2 c AP flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1 package chocolate chips

Oven at 375 F

1. Mise en place! (The French term for "everything in place." It's pronounced "mees on plahs," if you want to impress your friends.) This includes preheating the oven, if you plan to bake right after mixing.

I like to combine the dry ingredients in one bowl whenever possible--it saves on counter space. Same for the wet ingredients. In this case, the vanilla extract was dumped right into the milk.

2. Throw the butter into the bowl, and beat for a minute or so. The butter should be room temperature--soft enough to whip air into it, but not so soft that it can't hold its shape. Add the sugars, and beat until there are no lumps.

3. Add the eggs, one at a time. Make sure to blend the eggs thoroughly, and scrape down the bowl each time. You want to make sure you don't have chunks of sugar-butter floating around in the batter.

4. If you haven't combined the dry ingredients, go ahead. Then scoop about half the flour mixture into a sifter or strainer, and sift it into the bowl.


Sifting is not necessary, per se, but you really should if you want a high-quality cookie or cake. This is the most efficient way to evenly distribute ingredients, like the baking soda and salt. It also eliminates lumps, so you won't have pockets of flour or cocoa powder in the cookies/cake. Even a boxed cake mix benefits from being sifted; my friend Teresa noticed her cakes were smoother and lighter when she started sifting the mix. And it's easy and free! Sift your dry ingredients, and you'll see the difference.

Anyway, blend the dry ingredients on low speed, or flour will go everywhere. Add the milk and vanilla, and blend again. Then add the second half of the dry ingredients, sifting again. As always, scrape the bowl and beater(s) thoroughly, so the batter is mixed evenly. You don't want to just mix mix mix mix mix to get every bit of butter and flour incorporated into the batter. Why? Because mixing dough creates gluten, the protein that gives baked goods their structure. Too much mixing = too much gluten = a tough, chewy cookie.

5. Add those chocolate chips, and mix.



6. Wrap and chill/bake.

Since I made these for work, I decided to wrap the dough up and stow it into the freezer, to bake later. You can store your cookie dough in the freezer; in the fridge if you're going to bake them off in the next day or two; or bake them right away.

Since my cookies are meant for sale, and thus, have to be uniform, I scooped them with an ice cream scoop while the dough was still chilled. You don't have to get an ice cream scoop for a relatively uniform cookie; you can eyeball it. I recommend working with the dough when it's still cold, because it'll be easier to roll and shape than if it's warm and soft.

Now, obviously these aren't just plopped by the spoonful on to the baking sheet. But, as I said before, these cookies are professional cookies. They don't do casual, not even business-casual, so they need to be uptight, perfect little circles. You, however, are baking for fun, and can spoon your cookies out of the bowl and right on the sheet, and for that, I envy you.

Flattening the cookies is optional. If you do, you may want to chill the baking sheets in your fridge, if you have the room. Flattening them a little is optional. If you do, however, you should chill them for a little while before baking. Throwing chilled dough into a prepared oven keeps the dough from spreading too much, so the cookies will keep their shape, and won't bake into each other.

Do NOT grease your cookie sheets! Never, ever, ever, unless the recipe specifically calls for it. The fat used to grease the sheet is going to burn at a (relatively) low temperature, lower than the temperature needed to bake the cookies. They'll come out with burned bottoms, and nobody wants that. If you don't have parchment paper--I know I don't at my house--you can go without any sort of lining on the sheet.

7. Bake at 375 F for 7-10 minutes. I always set the timer to the halfway-point, and rotate the pan(s). Many ovens, especially gas ovens, don't heat evenly. Rotating the pans makes sure the cookies will bake evenly. Your cookies will be done when they spring back up after you press the top (gently) with your finger. Remember--they'll keep baking on the sheet after you take them out of the oven. So if they give only a little resistance, they may still be ready to take out. Regardless of how well- or under-baked you like your cookies, they should always give at least a little resistance when you push on them. Otherwise, you'll have gross gooey cookies that'll give someone food poisoning, instead of the good kind of gooey cookies.

I probably flattened these just a smidge too much, but they turned out pretty good. The edges are crisp, the centers are chewy, and I certainly can't complain about the taste. Whether you use this particular recipe or not, you should try to be mindful of the steps as you complete them: mixing thoroughly, scraping the bowl between steps, sifting the dry ingredients, chilling the dough. After a certain point, it becomes second nature, and you'll surprise yourself by how effortless it is to whip up a batch of bakery-quality cookies.

Ingredients: The Basics

Once you have some of the most basic tools--a bowl, a pan, a mixer, some measuring cups and spoons, an oven--you'll need to stock up on the most basic ingredients. I'll go into a little detail about the ingredients, and subsequent entries focused on specific ingredients will be charming little essays that go into further detail.

Stuff You Need

-Flour: all-purpose

The be-all and end-all of baking. There are very few things made without flour; running out of flour in a bakery is like running out of your own hands. Wheat flour is the most common flour, as it makes the most gluten, the protein that creates the structure of bread and other baked goods. There are several kinds of wheat flours: all-purpose (AP), cake, bread, whole wheat, rye, pastry. Then there's non-wheat flour: corn, rice, almond, potato, barely, oats , and so on. Non-wheat flours have either less gluten, or none at all; they're usually used with some amount of wheat flour to make breads. You only need AP flour, unless you're feeling fancy.

-Sugar: granulated, powdered, and brown

Something's gotta make that cookie too sweet to resist. While you can get away with only one kind of flour, you'll need at least three kinds of sugar: granulated sugar, powdered sugar, and brown sugar. Granulated sugar is the usual ingredient: many recipes shorten granulated sugar to just "sugar." If it doesn't specify what kind of sugar you should use, it's granulated sugar. Powdered sugar is required for many icings, and some kinds of cookies and pastries, as its microscopic grains are better suited for certain recipes and methods. Brown sugar has a unique taste that gives your baked goods a slight caramel-ish, molasses-like taste.

-Butter: unsalted

You cannot account for the exact amount of salt in salted butter. Some people wave off using it by saying, "Oh, I just don't put any salt in the batter," but how can they know if they're putting the right amount of salt in? They don't, and you don't, just like I don't, so don't use salted butter unless there is absolutely no choice. It doesn't take much salt to overpower the taste of plain, fresh, delicious butter. A buttery taste is the end goal of some baked goods; don't drown it out in salt.

Margarine and vegetable shortening aren't exact substitutes for butter; if you're making vegan baked goods, look first for specifically vegan recipes. Swapping out butter for margarine wholesale will change the chemical make-up of the recipe. For example, I made vegan chocolate chip cookies that were pretty good, but very, very crisp.

-Eggs

Many recipes call for egg whites, egg yolks, or separated eggs that are eventually incorporated together. You can buy egg whites (not the egg substitutes, but real egg whites) when you make angel food cake or buttercream icing in large quantities, and have no use for twenty egg yolks. Otherwise, though, buy whole eggs and save the leftover whites or yolks in the freezer.

-Salt

-Milk and Cream

Skim milk is useless for baking. The removal of all fat makes it milk-flavored water. 2% has enough fat to use, and performs as well as whole milk. Cream is very versatile, and finds its way into many recipes. It's also handy to have it around for whipped cream, which you can use as a last-minute icing, topping, filling, or garnish. And if you keep milk and cream in the fridge, you don't have to buy half-and-half: you can make your own.

-Leaveners: yeast, baking soda, baking powder

Gluten, the protein formed by mixing water and flour, is the basic structure for most baked goods. Leaveners shape the batter, filling it with pockets of air. Yeast is a fungus that has been cultivated over thousands of years by bakers and brewers. Using yeast requires paying attention to time and temperature, as it's alive and will flourish, go dormant, or die accordingly. Baking soda and baking powder are chemical leaveners, and don't require as much time and care as yeast. Baking powder is basically baking soda and cream of tartar, which is a misleading name, as it's a powder, not a cream. Anyway, it's good to keep cream of tartar handy, too, to either make a sort of baking powder, or to keep whipped egg whites stable.

-Chocolate: semi-sweet chocolate chips, cocoa powder

Oh, chocolate, my life blood. (Almost literally; my doctor is very concerned.) Everyone has a personal preference for dark, milk, or white chocolate (which isn't even chocolate), which vary in the amount of sugar, chocolate liqueur (not the kind that gets you drunk), and milk solids. Since you usually use a good amount of sugar and fats in your baking, most recipes will call for semi-sweet chocolate. It's best to use baking chocolate, but you can improvise: the vast majority of chocolate chips is semi-sweet, and their small shape makes them melt faster. Just keep in mind that chocolate chips will set a bit more firmly than baking chocolate. As for cocoa powder, there are a few varieties: regular, Dutch-processed, and even a "special dark" blend that turns your batter black. You can usually swap one for the other, unless specified in the recipe.

Chocolate burns very easily. Very, very, every easily. Never put chocolate over a direct flame. If you don't have the patience for a double-boiler, you can melt it in a microwave in short, ten-second long intervals. Heat it, take it out, stir it up, and repeat.

-Vanilla

Vanilla is the most common flavor used in baking. (It's also the second-most expensive, after saffron--go figure.) It provides a smooth "blank canvas" for other flavors, or can be enjoyed on its own. I use real vanilla extract for "good" baking--anything for special occasions or sale--artificial baking for "fun" baking and hot chocolate (I have a great stove-top recipe), and vanilla powder, which is used for some good baking. (I haven't used it a lot, honestly.) You can also buy vanilla beans, which are often steeped and then split open, then scraped of all the vanilla seeds.

-Spices: cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, pepper, cloves

These are the four most basic spices. Cinnamon is used by far the most, so pick up a big ol' container, it'll go fast. I like to use dashes of pepper in my baking, which complements many flavors, including chocolate, and gives it a little bite. You'll want to keep a well-stocked spice and herb collection as you go on: dill, thyme, rosemary, mace, sage, chili pepper, cumin, orange peel, etc.

-Extracts: almond, orange, lemon, mint

Just as the four spices I listed first are the most commonly used, the four extracts above are the ones you'll use the most. A pastry chef from Tennessee told me that she got a kick out of how much us Northerners use almond extract; according to her, lemon and orange are used more often to flavor cookies and cakes where she's from. I s'pose when it comes to things like flavored angel cakes and sugar cookies, it's a matter of preference. Just like with spices, you should start with these, and build a collection as you.

-Sweeteners: honey, corn syrup, molasses

Sometimes you need a liquid sweetener, for texture and taste. Liquid sweeteners make your baked goods more moist and chewy, and ingredients like honey lend their distinctive flavor. Corn syrup is handy for cooking sugar--it prevents re-crystallization of the sugar--and Southern staples like pecan pie. Molasses is strong stuff, and a little goes a long way, but there's nothing that can compare to its strong, smoky flavor and ability to drown people.

-Corn starch

Corn starch is probably the most commonly used thickener--pies, gravy, pudding, whatever.

-Gelatin

Another thickener you'll want to keep handy. Gelatin stabilizes mousse, marshmallows, pies, jams, and whipped cream that's being used as cake icing.

-Food coloring/gel

Let's make colors! I really love playing with different colors and hues when I make icings, glazes, meringues, and even cakes. Maybe too much, I don't know, but until my boss tells me to knock it off and get back to making scones, I'm going to keep doing it. Coloring gels are the jam, and I highly recommend them, as they're thicker than food coloring, and won't water down your batter/icing when you're trying to get an intense color.

-Patience: for the process and yourself

Baking is time-consuming, and nobody gets everything right the first time. Learning and perfecting something like baking isn't always easy and fun, but push through the bad days and be forgiving of yourself. Focus on the basics, as annoying or boring as it may be, before you dive headfirst into something complicated. It'll save you a lot of tears, if you're anything like me. And if you're baking for anyone besides yourself, they'll appreciate the time and effort you put into that batch of cookies or birthday cake, even if it looks a little sloppy or tortured, unless they're jerks; in that case, the hell with 'em.

Tools of the Trade

Every home baker should have a few things in their kitchen, no excuses. There's no reason to not have a decent mixing bowl, measuring cups, and at least one rubber spatula, except maybe if you just got out of prison and have absolutely nothing. And if that's the case, congratulations on rejoining society, and lets get geared up!

I'm splitting this up into two categories: Stuff You Need, and If You Have the Money. If You Have the Money is either fancy versions of Stuff You Need, or extra toys that aren't necessary unless you're going above and beyond. An airbrush machine isn't required to make a decent cake, but, boy, it's fun way to decorate that cake. Everything listed under Stuff You Need can be found in your local stores, including dollar stores, grocery stores, and specialty boutiques. If You Have the Money stuff is a little more difficult to find, as well as more expensive.

Stuff You Need:

-Mixer: stand or hand

A hand mixer is the bare minimum for baking. You are just not going to want to whip egg whites into stiff peaks with a whisk. I tried making whipped cream once with just a whisk, but I was ten years old, and I was using 2% milk instead of actual cream. Even if I had been using cream, it would have taken too long to make whipped cream before I would've given up and turned on the tv instead. Stand mixers are fantastic, as they 1) let you work on other stuff while it mixes/whips/blends, and 2) they come with a dough hook, which eases the process of making bread.

-Bowls: metal, ceramic; wide-rimmed

You want a good, sturdy bowl that can handle forks, whisks, and varying degrees of heat and cold. The mouth should be wide, to ease even mixing and folding.

-Rubber Spatulas

Handled ones are good. Get them in a few different sizes or shapes, at your luxury. I've gotten some (adorable) small ones that are perfect for scraping out small bowls and jars. You'll also want to pick up a hand-held one, sometimes called a rubber scraper, and a baker's helper. They have a curved edge and a straight one, so they're handy for scraping out bowls or scraping off paddles. Plus they're perfect for folding batters.

-Metal Spatulas

You can use these for separating breads/cakes from their pans, lifting items off cooling racks/baking sheets, and spreading batters in pans and fillings and icings on cakes. They're preferable to a knife, as they're thinner, have an even thickness, and many come off-set (bent at an angle) to make it easy when you're trying to spread batter in a cake pan evenly. Get a small off-set spatula to start; it'll fit into smaller pans AND large ones. Getting any larger ones is totally up to you.

-Pots and Pans: for stove-top use

-Cookie Sheets, Cake/Bread Pans, Pie Pans

-Measuring Cups and Spoons

You'll want dry measuring cups, sure, but you really need one for liquids. Volume is volume, so you can measure flour out in a liquid measuring cup. It's a bit harder to measure ounces in a dry measuring cup.

-Pastry Brush

I use a proper pastry brush; i.e., one sold specifically for kitchen use. However, you can buy some kiddy paint brushes from a dollar store, and use the wider ones for baking. Just make sure you only use them for baking.

-Rolling Pin

-Strainer

A mesh strainer is very helpful, as it can double as a sifter. Get one that can hold at least two cups, so you won't have to strain/sift by the spoonful.

-Food Processor

Pulverize, grind, chop, shred, AND you can use it for making pastry doughs!

-Wire Cooling Racks

Not just for cooling down items fresh from the oven. If you do any glazing, you'll want a wire rack to rest your baked goods on, so the glaze can drip off the sides and onto a baking sheet/tray underneath it. Then you won't have half-dried pools of glaze that make the cakes and cookies all soggy on the bottom.

-Candy Thermometer

The standard probe thermometer used for cooking meat and egg dishes is useless when you start cooking sugar. Sugar heats up far hotter than those thermometers go up to--I believe they stop around 220 degrees F, which is the very first stage of sugar cooking. You'll need something that can measure up to 400 degrees F, which would be a candy thermometer. (They're sometimes referred to as a "Frying Oil" thermometer--same diff.) Some recipes for bread or mousse require a specific temperature range, to make sure you don't kill the yeast or serve people undercooked egg dishes.

-Whisk

-Spoons

You want a few different kinds, for scooping, mixing, and eating. Get at least one wooden stirring spoon, especially if you plan to do any cooked sugar.

-Dough Cutter

Also known as a bench scraper or metal scraper. These babies are great for parceling out bread dough, cutting up hunks of scone batter, scraping stuff off your work surface, smoothing out the icing on the side of a cake, and slicing up hunks of butter.

-Knives

A chef's knife, paring knife, and a serrated cake knife are the very bare minimum you need as a baker. Chef's knives are best for chopping nuts, fruits, chocolate, and so on. Serrated knives are the best thing you can use to slice cakes and breads; the longer it is, the better. I got one in my kit for baking school with a 13" long blade, so it's perfect for slicing large cakes cleanly and evenly. Paring knives are good for cutting small things, as well as carving and shaping things made of fondant, for example.

-Grater

A hand grater is good to have around--quite and quick, easy to clean up, and you can use it to zest citrus fruits in a pinch. But, for that, you'll really want to use:

-Zester

A zester is one of these little beauties:

I personally use a Microplane brand zester, which is actually based off of woodworking tools. (People were buying them specifically for kitchen work, so Microplace did a little tweaking and launched a new line of products.) It looks more like a file, and it's pretty versatile. I use it on oranges, lemons, chocolate, and my knuckles on a frequent basis.

-Cookie Cutters

Metal cutters give you a cleaner edge than plastic ones. Some people swear you can use a glass in lieu of any cutter, for a simple circle, but you're honestly better off using an index card. Just cut it smaller, tape it into a tube, and voila! You may need to replace it as it gets soggy and soft, but it's quick, cheap, and gives you a sharp, clean edge.

-Pastry Bags and Tips

They're actually useful for more than just decorating cakes, but that's their main function. You can use them to shape cookies and meringue puffs, too.

-Parchment Paper

It's not totally necessary for every instance, but parchment paper is useful as hell. You really want it when you're working with anything that relies on egg whites for leavening--meringues, angel food cakes, etc--because you can't grease the pans and baking sheets. (Fats of any kind will deflate the egg whites, and you'll be stuck with a chewy, sugary matzo cracker.)

If You Have the Money:

-Stand Mixer

I touched on this briefly, but stand mixers are fantastic. It's just nice to whip or blend your project hands-free, and be freed up to mess about with other things.

-Pastry Cutter

These little cuties are a half-circle of four or five blades connected to a handle. They're for cutting butter into pastry and biscuit dough. I like the idea of them, but, if you have a food processor, you won't need one. We keep a couple in the kitchen where I work, specifically for times when the food processor is being used; the use of the pastry cutters is much slower than a food processor, and often accompanied by swear/crying.

-Scale

Home recipes don't measure ingredients by weight, for the most part. It's good to have one if you get your hands on a book printed for schools and professionals, as they will have sugar and flour and the like measured out by weight. (Those books are also written as high-volume recipes, so be sure you have your math down when you scale the recipes down to a manageable amount.) You can pick up digital home scales at many stores; try to get one that can measure quarter-ounces; ones that can convert between ounces and grams are nice, but not totally necessary.

-Sifter

If you have a strainer, you won't need a sifter. Some of them are cute, though--one at work has a crank--and they're less messy than a strainer.

There are things missing from this list, I'm sure, but it's everything on my list, which was scribbled out between pastries and scones at work. I'll be going more in-depth with some tools, and recipes that demonstrate their use, as I go on. In the meantime, if I compile a large enough list of equipment, I'll put another entry together.

Next time: Staples of the Kitchen! The ingredients you just plain need.

Baking for Burn Outs?

Yes, baking for burn outs. I will show you the way.

I'll start with the "burn outs" part as a courtesy. I define "burn-out" as someone whose nerves are shot, for whatever reason. Thus, you can be a burn out without being a washed-up pothead. (Really, though, how much weed counts as "too much" is totally subjective.) I consider myself a burn-out because the only thing I can do quickly and effectively under time constraints is formulate coherent and researched arguments on the dynamics of Beetle's relationship with Miss Buxley in the comic strip Beetle Bailey* to post on the internet.

Bakers have a unique place in the kitchen, because we don't have to hop-to and hustle on the line when orders start coming in. Most of the work is done in advance, so all that's left is filling the bread baskets and plating dessert. Watching Kitchen Nightmares** makes me dizzy sometimes, with chefs calling out orders to line cooks over rows of searing hot pans, plates for Table 3 getting confused with plates for Table 8, and the pressure on getting the food out NOW--it's too much. I'd much rather worry about being efficient with my time and work at a steady pace, than subject myself (and everyone working with me) to that kind of chaos. Because chaos is exactly what you would get from me.

Fortunately for us burn outs, you don't have to turn out a fully-prepared baked good on demand. You get the menu in advance, and plan accordingly. Doing a banquet for 135 people in three days from now, and the dessert is an iced triple-layer cake with two fillings? That's cool--bake the cakes and make the fillings and icings on Day 1. Slice the cakes, assemble them, and ice them on Day 2. Put any final touches on the icing and slice them on Day 3. Even better is when you have icing and fillings already made and labeled in the freezer. That's not always feasible, depending on how much freezer space you have, and whether or not you've had the chance to stock up before the order came in. But it's very satisfying when your boss hands you an order and you know you're already a couple steps ahead.

You don't even have to make everything from scratch, especially for home baking. Angel food cake is a bit tricky, and it's very time-consuming if you make it from scratch--you whip egg whites into a meringue, which requires at least ten minutes, and a practiced eye. There's no shame in buying a boxed mix, especially if you decide to make the icing yourself instead of buying it. Or you can make the cake, whatever kind it is, completely from scratch, and frost it with something from a can. Or use canned pumpkin filling for your pie--I've made pie filling from a couple of pumpkins I got from a co-worker, and it's a fun project, but god it takes forever. The point is, you can decide which parts you want to do entirely yourself, as well as how fancy you want to get with assembly and decoration.

The best part of baking at home, though, is that you set the pace. If you're not confident about writing script on a birthday cake, you can set out a piece of wax paper and just practice writing in icing with a pastry bag to your heart's content. Want to make a rainbow swirl cake with every color of the rainbow? Your only limit is how many bowls you have--one per color--and your own imagination. Make it with three colors, or ten different shades of green; be as meticulous or free as you like. Granted, there are some limits, thanks to chemistry and physics: whipped egg whites will deflate after a certain point, chocolate has to be heated gently because it burns easily, and so on. Like any art or craft, there are some limits and rules, but there is an amazing array of what you can do within those limits.

This blog is intended to be a sort of guide for aspiring home bakers. You don't have to be a professional baker to turn out professional results. Even if you don't aspire to land a spot in the World Pastry Team Championship, you can make a delicious, quality baked good with good texture and simple appeal. To me, it doesn't matter if something is over-wrought with fancy icing and sculpted, hand-painted fondant in the shape of the Arc de Triomphe, if it tastes like crap--give me a fresh baguette made by someone who knows their way around a loaf of bread. I'll be providing recipes, of course, as well as in-depth looks at ingredients, techniques, equipment, and various baked goods and sweets you can make easily at home. Even if you don't want to work your way up to pastry swans and gold-patterned chocolate truffles, you can certainly make something that people will enjoy. Most importantly, you can make something that you will enjoy both making and eating, and you can take pride in having made it yourself.

*He's totally a beard she uses to make sure the other soldiers keep their paws off her, while "dating" Miss Buxley hides Beetle's asexuality and lends him credibility with the other soldiers. See "Not This Wednesday: The Unconsummated Tryst of Beetle Bailey." Thinking for Funnies. Ed. Josh Fruhlinger. Dec. 2010.

**Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is infinitely superior to the Fox version, and certainly has less artificial panic, but I'd still rather not be a line cook.